DTS WEEK 10: Relationships

This week, our Fall DTS students had the honor of learning about relationships, who we are in relationship, how relationship began with the Trinity, and what relationship with God looks like from our very own MP (name not disclosed for security reasons). MP has an absolute heart of gold and is one of the most intentional people when it comes to stewarding relationships well. He is passionate about the origin of relationship and what it looks like to healthily engage in and steward relationship with others, God, and ourselves. A quote from him that sums it all up is, “Relationships are what the kingdom of heaven is built on.”

MP begins with our understanding of God and says, “What comes into our mind when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” In saying this, he highlights how what we believe about God greatly impacts every part of our life. He continues on saying, “God is good, but everything in and around me is trying to convince me otherwise.” This idea connects to what our students learned from Pat Caven during week 9 about how our story, childhood, and overall life experience shapes our understanding of God. In this great war where we fight to find and understand God, there are supernatural forces doing all they can to keep us far from the truth. MP sums up this idea with, “I don’t need faith that God is cold and distant. I need faith to believe that God deeply cares about me.” This fight can feel difficult and isolating, but God deeply desires that we know him! So, in this journey, there’s a hope tucked within us that he is not far as we seek to understand, but he is right there. Ready and in love with showing us his true character.

MP unpacked how perfectionism changes how we connect with people and the Lord. “Perfectionism is the belief that if I live, look and act perfect, I can avoid rejection, judgment and shame.” Perfectionism can be a form of self-protection. It is a wall we put up in order to soothe our fear of pain and being hurt by others. What we don’t realize is that this wall we put up actually keeps us from experiencing the joy of being fully known and fully loved. Not just by others, but especially by God. MP also defined perfectionism as “trying to earn love and acceptance from the people around us.” Living this way leaves us feeling exhausted and pushes us further away from pressing into the risk of love and relationship. The reality is, being in relationship with others is a risk. It is a risk to love. It is a risk to choose and fight for the people in our lives. But, it is also our greatest gift. At the core of every human being is the desire to be known and loved. While our first place to receive understanding and love is Yahweh, we have also been intentionally designed to desire community. We need community, and the risk, at some point or another, will prove to be worth it. MP eloquently notes, “If you’ve ever given yourself to someone and had your heart broken, you know how God feels. If you've ever given yourself to someone and they responded, they reciprocated with love of their own, you know how God feels. If God can continue to risk, you can too.”

MP also spoke on the importance of forgiveness! “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person do die.” We cannot harbor unforgiveness against another and expect to move on from what pained us. Unforgiveness keeps us stuck and those wounds fester inside of us producing bitterness. The thing about forgiveness is that it’s “a choice of the will, not your emotions.” More often than not, we don’t necessarily feel like forgiving people. Pain runs deep, and the hurt is so valid. What we have to remember is that forgiveness has proven time and time again to set us free. It gives us and others a clean slate. Without forgiveness, how could we continue to love and choose one another? Without forgiveness, we wouldn’t even be able to draw near to God. Forgiveness is a gift that shapes and stretches us. It keeps our hearts soft and tender.

Our students week with MP was impactful and thought-provoking. Here are some more quotes from this week that we love.

“Christianity is the only major religion to have as its central event the humiliation of its God.” // “The gospel is not the news that we can receive an absent Jesus into our lives. The gospel is the shocking news that Jesus already received us into His.” // “Too often we exchange the unconditional love of God for a conditional love.” // “Love God and love people. If you don’t love people, don't pretend to love God.” // “Jesus doesn’t ask you to do anything He doesn’t do.” // “God cares about the missionary, not just the mission.”