Ponderings on the Purpose of Pain - Refining Fire: a word by Jessica O.

As I have been processing disappointment and pain, I have been examining a phrase people say to bring comfort. You have all heard the phrase before. “Remember to keep your eyes on Jesus.” 

 I found myself troubled by this remark. To whom else would I turn? Jesus is the only one that understands our pain and the only true source of comfort. That phrase felt like it was coming from a place of fear and that when we feel pain, we may distance ourselves from Him and lose sight of trusting Him and His promises. 

“Is this true Papa?” I asked. “Am I wrestling with not trusting you because I am hurt?” 

He looked at me with the gentlest disarming look in His eyes. Then He said, “You are not doing anything wrong. You are cycling through the stages of grief and each stage is necessary and important. Don’t rush or fear the process. I am holding you through it, and you are doing well. Without pain, growth and healing can’t happen. The old must be released for the new to come.” 

This stirred up another question. 

“So, why do people fear that someone will turn away from You because of difficult circumstances or disappointment?”

The Holy Spirit immediately recalled to my mind stories of people that became angry with the Lord in difficult circumstances and extreme pain and they turned away from Him. 

Then Jesus asked me, “Do you think they really turned from Me, or did they turn away from a misunderstanding of who I am?”

In that instant, a deeper understanding clicked in my spirit, and I laughed out loud. We could never turn from our Father’s true nature and character when dealing with difficult circumstances, because He is the source of all comfort, understanding and healing. But, when we grow up under a false idea of who God is, pain drives us away from that. The pain of the circumstances act to purify our understanding of our heavenly Father. It drives us away from the false, meanwhile He is ever drawing us into an understanding of who He really is with His arms open wide. 

I suddenly saw a new depth in the prodigal son’s story. It is an example of a son discovering a new facet to the limitless goodness and love of the Father, and then bringing it back to a community that missed that facet to begin with. If they had that understanding from the start, that son would not have needed to go on the journey to uncover that. My eyes were open to a new perspective on how to look with loving anticipation at those that “turned their backs on the Lord” in hardships. I can’t wait to receive the new revelation the Father gives them as their journey brings them full circle. I went on my own journey, and on it I met my real Father, in His true character and nature, not who I thought He was. And, once you have an encounter with Him, there is no going back. And, pain only drives you deeper into His embrace, never away.

As the Lord unpacks these questions for me, I am beginning to see pain not as something to avoid or fear. It is an opportunity to press into something more and deeper with the Lord. It is fire that refines our understanding of who our Father is. It is a key on the journey to deconstruct every lie, broken mindset, or misunderstanding about the character of our Father. It is a door into a deeper intimacy than we could ever have imagined. It is something incredibly beautiful. He really does restore and use all things.